February 13, 2018 Bob Karcher

Do You Know Her Dreams?

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

This one is for the guys. Sorry ladies, you’ll appreciate why soon enough and might even want to share this article with “your guy” after you read it.

OK men, let me ask you one simple question: Do you know your wife’s or significant other’s deepest dreams? I’m not referring to her desire to get a small break from driving the kids around or curling up alone with a new book.

Those are great short-term ways to relieve temporary stress but what I’m asking you to consider goes much deeper than a momentary break from the pressures of daily life. What I am suggesting you consider are those deepest thoughts and dreams that, when she really thinks about them, bring a renewed sense of hope and purpose to her life.

What? You don’t know what those are? You’ve never thought to ask her? That’s okay, most of us don’t. I didn’t ask or know Susan’s dreams, not for a long time. Us men tend to get so darned busy cranking through our lives climbing the corporate ladder, providing for the family, and trying to be a good husband, father, and friend that we don’t take time to consider our own life’s purpose and dreams – let alone anyone else’s.

That’s a subject for another day but, since this is the “Month of Love,” I’m asking you to think about your Valentine for now. You see, like you, she has likely been so wrapped up working and making life happen for you, the kids, and others that she unintentionally turned her “dreamer” off years ago. Most of us do.

Is dreaming about life just for daydreamers – those that spend their days with their heads in the clouds, wishing for times past or imagining what might one day be? I don’t think so. We all have dreams. Kids do. Teenagers do. And it’s not too late for adults to.

What if you could be instrumental in helping your Valentine’s daydreams become a life-long reality? “But, how would I start?”, you ask. In our Fellows Program at the Halftime Institute, we encourage our clients to have the “Courage to Dream.” For your significant other, that might start with asking questions something like this:

  • If money was not an issue, what would you be doing for free if you could?
  • If you could have anything you most wanted in life, what would that be?
  • If you knew there was no way you could fail, what dream of a lifetime would you pursue?
  • What life values do you most want to be remembered for?
  • What issue in the world would you most like to make a difference in?

What do you think your wife’s/girlfriend’s reaction would be if you took her to a quiet, casual dinner and asked her questions like these? She would probably fall out of her chair. And so might you when you hear her responses.

When I first realized I needed to ask Susan about her biggest dreams, I thought I knew what her answers would be. To be honest, I did get some of it right, but I was also super surprised by parts of what she shared. And now I am as focused on helping Susan’s life purpose, hopes, and dreams become a reality as I am my own. It has proven the greatest gift I could ever give her.

Wouldn’t this be the best Valentine’s gift ever if you could help your Valentine move beyond hope in 2018 and start expecting greater things than she ever imagined?

If you would like some guidance with this, drop me a note. I’d love to help.

Okay ladies, this is where you share this article on social media and forward it to your guy with a little hint that this just might be the best article he reads all year. 


Blessings on your continuing journey,

Bob Karcher

Author | Speaker | Coach



Tagged: , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for.

Ephesians 1:11